What It Means To Be Southern

I recently wrote a blog that drew a myriad of comments about my being 

"southern".

I think it's fun to compare notes on our backgrounds, and on

mannerisms 

which seem prototypically regional.

Several of us shared customs we perceive to be suggestive of the areas in which

 we were raised, and we found we were making fun of ourselves.

Being from the south, I have no problem "telling on" southerners.

We all know the stereotypes are just that, and no more,

and that there are

  silly stereotypes

about any given group of people.

A friend emailed me the funniest list of southern stories, stereotypes and silliness . . . 

and I'm going to share it with you over the next few days.

Be careful with whom you share these silly stories, and if you're going to be

  makin' fun of my family,

then you're going to be in a

  heap a' trouble.

 If you're from the northern states and planning on visiting or moving to the south, there are a few things you should know that will help you adapt to the difference in lifestyle.

If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic.  Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly.  Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. 

 This is what they live for.

Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store. 

 Don't buy food at this store.

Remember,

"y'all" is singular, "all ya'll" is plural, and "all y'all's"is plural possessive.

The first southernism to creep into a transplanted northerner's vocabulary is the adjective

"big ole" . . . 

as in big ole truck or big ole boy. 

 Most northerners begin their southern-influenced dialect this way. 

 All y'all
 are in denial about it.

Be advised that 

"He needed killin",

is a valid defense in the south.

If you hear a good ole boy exclaim, 

"hey y'all, watch this!"

you should stay out of the way.  

These are likely to be the last words he'll ever say.

I'm just sayin' . . . 

these are a few things y'all might need to know!

To be continued in tomorrow's post . . .