Tuesday, April 5, 2011

What It Means To Be Southern, Part 2

Wow - I'm getting some feedback now!

I continue with my tongue in cheek rendition of
  what it means to be "southern"
with more from my southern friends point of view.

She tells me there are many distinguishing characteristics of the north
 that differ from those of the south.
For example:

The north has sun-dried tomatoes,
 the south has mater sandwiches.

The north has coffee houses,
 the south has Waffle Houses.

The north has dating services, 
the south has family reunions.

The north has switchblade knives, 
the south has Lee Press-on Nails.

The North has cream of wheat,
 the south has grits.

The north has double last names,
the south has double first names.

The north has green salads,
 the south has collard greens.

The north has lobsters, 
the south has crawfish.

Do not be surprised, she says,
 to find that
  10 year olds have their own shotguns.
  They are proficient marksmen, 
and their Mammas taught them how to shoot.

Lastly, remember . . . 
If you do settle in the south and bear children, 
don't think we will ever accept them as Southerners.  

After all, just because the cat has kittens in the oven,
 y'all can be sure we won't be
 callin' them biscuits.

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