Friday, August 19, 2011

Side Effects

Dear Ones,
Many of you are following my post surgical escapades on the blog,
so I'm dedicated to keeping you posted on the 
up and down recuperation process.

I had a couple of good days . . .
the sort of days that make you think it's nearly over!
That you're ready to tackle the world,
at least
to get back to work.

So, you begin to try things you haven't been able to do for awhile

like going outside into the sunlight
lifting things, to rearrange them...

and you fall on your face.

I have to sit down and figure out why I feel so well some days, 
and then when I try to accomplish something simple 
like tying my shoes, 
or walking 2 blocks to pick up a few groceries,
or vacuuming,
I relapse.

I drop things
I stumble into things
I reach for something and miss it
Words on a page or computer screen move around
Dizziness worsens
Light creates an unbearable stress on my brain
Vision becomes distorted.

Not only can't I figure it out,
doctors still can't figure it out.

So, I've been trying to re-read my journal
 to determine a pattern.

Light is my first guess.

The more I subject myself to sunlight
fluorescent light
sometimes even the light coming in my
windows through the blinds,
the worse my condition seems to get.

Motion is my second guess.

Sitting still or lying down
for an hour or more
seems to calm my center.

Walking is fine for a short distance
in my dimly lit house
at a minor pace.
Bending is disastrous.

Walking outside in the sunlight
riding in a car
with landscape and other vehicles flying past
and sunshine flashing in
causes havoc.

I have invested in some super dark, wrap around, protective sunglasses
 my opthamologist
Even they are not enough to filter the light and protect my eyes and brain.

I do not intend to become a hermit!

Last week, brother dearest,
(visiting from Florida),
took me out for a drive.
Returning home, I stumbled getting out of the car.
I recovered.
Then I dropped my keys.
I bent to pick up my keys and lost my balance.
I got to the door, reached for the door knob, and missed.

I had that feeling that I'd been filled with concrete.

I went inside, went into my room,
and fell down.
I lay there, thinking . . .
I eventually got up, layed down across the bed
and spent the next 10 hours sleeping.

The next morning I stumbled into the kitchen to make a cup of coffee and some toast.
I took a sip.
It dribbled down my chin.

I took a bite of toast.
I couldn't swallow like I usually do.
The muscles in my throat wouldn't work
quite right . . .

I called my Primary Care Physician
who said to go to the E.R.
She was suspecting a T.I.A.

Transient Ischemic Attack.
Sometimes referred to as a
"mini stroke".

The thing about T.I.A.
is that you cannot see it
 on an M.R.I.
 C.T. scan.

The problems brought on by
resolve themselves,
often within hours.

As I waited, (five hours in the E.R.),
I tried to explain to the attending physician in my halted speech,
exactly what had happened over the last few weeks.

During those five hours,
two helicopters landed with incoming emergency patients.
Flight For Life.
A dozen ambulances arrived.
People were having heart attacks,
people were bleeding profusely,
I was in much better shape than any of

The good doctors once again could not definitively determine
exactly what the cause of my
might be.

is a forewarning sign

I am in denial about this being a series of T.I.A.'s

I still believe, as do several specialists, that this is a drug/chemical reaction.

The good news is that I also believe I'm improving
just a little,
every day.

Keep those prayers going!

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