Time for a change

The weather is changing fast, and I'm loving the changes.  

I was inspired to sort through the closet, 

rotating warm weather clothing and cool weather clothing 

I'm thinking hearty potato/cheddar soup

 and

 chili

 and

rich beef stew 

I have a desire for pumpkin bread

and

baked apples

and

ginger snaps

My candle fragrances are evolving into

Votivo's Red Currant

and 

Honeysuckle

and

Smoke

Scarves are tempting me . . 

burnt oranges 

and

 harvest ambers

and

cinnamon browns

I'm beginning to layer my table top with textural neutrals

in raw silk, burlap, hopsacking and linen

It's time for a change

and

I'm loving it!

Early Morning Thoughts

I'm venturing out again now,

testing my endurance and navigating skills.

Though I'm not as strong and sure as I was,

there is a challenge to every day

that I enjoy meeting.

I took my market basket and started out into my brave new world.

I found several lovely items for my little shop

and stopped in to arrange them

at 

PATINA.

It was early and quiet and calm.

Sunlight hitting the front windows at a new angle and lending a different aura.

I lit the pretty mercury glass lamps and admired the soft glow they cast.

I love to putter early,

before anyone else is about . . .

Just touching

 these treasures from 100 years or more ago

starts me musing about

their histories . . .

What hands have touched these ironstone bowls

and

silver inkwells

and

old photo developing frames?

Who has opened and closed those peely shutters?

Against what storms of life . . . 

What Brittish market or apothecary shop used this little scale

to weigh out goods for a home maker?

What home will harbor it next . . 

Where has it resided in between . . .

What stories could it tell?

Each piece is precious in some way

because it holds those stories,

and because it will accumulate

more.

Only time will tell

who will own this treasure next . . .

Will they think of it like I do?

I love my work!

Good Morning World

Good Morning and welcome to my world.

I'm going out to work today,
 just my
  second
real day
"out",
since July 18th.

Some tremendously life changing
"side effects"??
"strokes"?
something
after surgery
have knocked me for a
long
miserable
 serious
loop.

Today I will brave the world,
with assistance,
and
  see if
I can
 be
back to work.

No one knows just how disconcerting it is to find one cannot
 speak,
walk,
 swallow,
grasp objects
 and
drive
until it happens to them.

I have a new compassion.

God is good about teaching us the skill set He intends us to posess . . .
even at this stage in life.

He will give us all the tools we will need to be tender hearted
and ready to assist and understand
and have empathy for
the people
He 
wants us to serve.

I hope this
lesson is well learned
and
I do not need to
study it again . . .

There are people I need to thank
a thousand times
for what they've done 
to bless me
during this process!

Now I will attempt to go to work
several days a week
and to
 have a fresh perspective
on
how blessed I've always been
to be healthy and strong and self-sufficient
and capable.

Thanks for your well wishes and love!

Side Effects

Dear Ones,

Many of you are following my post surgical escapades on the blog,

so I'm dedicated to keeping you posted on the 

BIZARRE

up and down recuperation process.

I had a couple of good days . . .

the sort of days that make you think it's nearly over!

That you're ready to tackle the world,

or,

at least

to get back to work.

So, you begin to try things you haven't been able to do for awhile

like going outside into the sunlight

or

lifting things, to rearrange them...

and you fall on your face.

Literally.

I have to sit down and figure out why I feel so well some days, 

and then when I try to accomplish something simple 

like tying my shoes, 

or walking 2 blocks to pick up a few groceries,

or vacuuming,

I relapse.

I drop things

I stumble into things

I reach for something and miss it

Words on a page or computer screen move around

Dizziness worsens
Light creates an unbearable stress on my brain
Vision becomes distorted.

Not only can't I figure it out,
doctors still can't figure it out.

So, I've been trying to re-read my journal
 to determine a pattern.

Light is my first guess.

The more I subject myself to sunlight
or
fluorescent light
and
sometimes even the light coming in my
windows through the blinds,
the worse my condition seems to get.

Motion is my second guess.

Sitting still or lying down
for an hour or more
seems to calm my center.

Walking is fine for a short distance
in my dimly lit house
at a minor pace.
Bending is disastrous.

Walking outside in the sunlight
and
riding in a car
with landscape and other vehicles flying past
and sunshine flashing in
causes havoc.


I have invested in some super dark, wrap around, protective sunglasses
 my opthamologist
prescribed.
Even they are not enough to filter the light and protect my eyes and brain.

I do not intend to become a hermit!

Last week, brother dearest,
(visiting from Florida),
took me out for a drive.
Returning home, I stumbled getting out of the car.
I recovered.
Then I dropped my keys.
I bent to pick up my keys and lost my balance.
I got to the door, reached for the door knob, and missed.

I had that feeling that I'd been filled with concrete.

I went inside, went into my room,
and fell down.
I lay there, thinking . . .
I eventually got up, layed down across the bed
and spent the next 10 hours sleeping.

The next morning I stumbled into the kitchen to make a cup of coffee and some toast.
I took a sip.
It dribbled down my chin.

I took a bite of toast.
I couldn't swallow like I usually do.
The muscles in my throat wouldn't work
quite right . . .

I called my Primary Care Physician
who said to go to the E.R.
She was suspecting a T.I.A.

Transient Ischemic Attack.
Sometimes referred to as a
"mini stroke".

The thing about T.I.A.
is that you cannot see it
 on an M.R.I.
or
 C.T. scan.

The problems brought on by
 T.I.A.
resolve themselves,
often within hours.

As I waited, (five hours in the E.R.),
I tried to explain to the attending physician in my halted speech,
exactly what had happened over the last few weeks.

During those five hours,
two helicopters landed with incoming emergency patients.
Flight For Life.
A dozen ambulances arrived.
People were having heart attacks,
people were bleeding profusely,
I was in much better shape than any of
 THEM!

The good doctors once again could not definitively determine
exactly what the cause of my
problems
might be.


Evidently,
T.I.A.
is a forewarning sign
of
stroke.

I am in denial about this being a series of T.I.A.'s

I still believe, as do several specialists, that this is a drug/chemical reaction.

The good news is that I also believe I'm improving

just a little,

every day.

Keep those prayers going!

Storming Outside

The wind is blowing so hard outside that I'm hearing that whistling noise 

 I usually only hear in winter . . . 

It's turned awfully stormy,

the sort of stormy that makes me wonder 

if I need to turn on the radio and listen for 

a weather advisory????

I'm making a pot of coffee,

 and baking some cookies . . . 

just because it feels like that sort of 

afternoon.

The sort of afternoon when you want to cozy up

with a good book

and some classical music

and good coffee,

and warm cookies . . .

and hope the storm lasts

for a while.

Maybe I'll put on a load of laundry,

just to pretend I'm being

industrious and such!

Or not . . . 

Maybe I Spoke Too Soon

I posted earlier today, 

telling you how much better I was feeling . . . 

I hate it when I brag about how well somethings going,

and then it goes to pieces . . . 

I really did feel better this morning,

and I still contend that my speech

and other faculties

are on the upswing.

I felt soooo fine that I decided to

venture out into the sunshine and fresh air,

and take a short walk to the grocery store.

I slipped into my fancy red flip flops
with the cute red flower poofs
that everyone always compliments me on!

It's only about 2 blocks, across a lovely green lawn and brick pathway,

with trees and flowers . . .

a sweet stroll.

I knew I could do it,

and it would be good for me . . .

and I really need to get out and begin testing my abilities

and building up my confidence,

and using the muscles I've been neglecting while I sit indoors

recovering from

whatever it is that has blindsided me and knocked me for a loop

since my surgery nearly a month ago.

NOTE:

read my four previous posts before you decide to have surgery!

So . . . 

I walked to the grocery store.

I was delighted . . . 

I was proud . . .

I was feelin' good . . . 

I took my lovely burlap grocery tote,
conscientious consumer that I am . . .

and picked up a few necessities.

I smiled at everyone.

I took my time.

This was a major accomplishment . 

I was enjoying the event.

I was contemplating the produce.

I 

NEVER

 have time to contemplate the produce like some shoppers do -

it's usually a quick trip,

throw it into the cart,

get it done,

get on to the next thing on my list . . .

I started home.

I made it home.

I put my sweet burlap grocery tote down.

I dropped into my cozy chair.

I took a breath and wondered what was wrong with me.

If you told me someone had just poured 300 pounds of concrete into my body

I would have simply answered,

"oh".

I couldn't move.

I really couldn't move.

The room was tilting,

my head was spinning,

and my body was full of very heavy concrete.

Or something.

I leaned over,

laid my head on the arm of the chair

and immediately passed out.

I awoke a couple of hours later,

feeling as if I might be able to get up.

I washed my face,
 brushed my teeth, drank a glass of water, and laid back down.

It's a start - and who knows . . .

maybe tomorrow will be better!

The Strangest Ride I've Ever Been On

It is nearly

 one month

 since my journey began, with post surgical neurological deficits.

Four to five days a week 

I'm receiving therapy to enhance my recovery

 from what can only be described as one of the strangest rides I've ever been on!

I'm now

  detoxing my body

from all chemicals and drugs

 that may have invaded my brain and central nervous system

 during said surgery.

Vegetarian,

organic, chemical free,

foods and juices.

Proprietary

systemic cleanse.

Herbal supplements.

Antioxidents,

probiotic,

vitamins and minerals.

Exercise.

These are a few of my favorite things!

My speech is now improving

every day!

My walking is improving.

My balance still leaves something to be desired.

My eye-hand coordination,

typing,

writing

and

reading

are now improving.

The room still spins and tilts on occasion.

The occasions are beginning to spread out and be less frequent.

Sunlight and motion bring them on, with a vengeance!

Because I trust God to answer prayers, I have hope!

Thank you to the many people who have stood firm in their belief that God hears our prayers,

and in their commitment to pray for me.

 I have begun to see some definite improvements,

I'm excited by the improvements!

I have to tell you,

I was beginning to wonder

if I was lost in some

  never-never land 

of post surgical dementia and bizarre side effects.

When a myriad of physicians are left without a clue

 as to what is going on in their patient's body,

one begins to feel a little abandoned

and frustrated.

If I didn't have the prayer and support of close friends and family,

I cannot imagine where my mind would stray . . .

That, and the commitment of my

 chiropractic team 

to treat me with their years of education, experience and expertise.

They recognized my problem and went to work to correct the issue.

Their treatment approach has been the key to my recovery!

Let me encourage anyone who is struggling through the

 labyrinth of doctors who merely prescribe drugs

as a solution to our illnesses . . . 

There are many approaches to healing,

and it takes doctors who 

listen carefully,

and who occasionally dare to

 step outside the boundaries

of

traditional thought processes and quick solutions,

to find the appropriate healing technique needed.

Thank you Lord!

Thank You Doctor!